Spontaneous Saturday; unhurried and pleasurable. In the afternoon we visited the library, shared a table with a queer mismatch, couple age and clothes. I laid out 5 books before me and took my pick, fingering crisp pages and then yellowed pages. Atwood is a genius. Opposite, Sir Wing completed tutorial and read on fencing, faceless men in white protection, practising swordmanship. Foil. Épée. Sabre.

At 5 we treated ourselves to indulgence packed in red plastic; all sorts of food. $2 Birds Nest, Malay Beehoon coloured with spices, Goreng Pisang x 3, buttered corn, Japanese salmon pizza thick with sauces. Happiness in a cup, Joy in a box, Budbliss, light on the pockets, heavy in the stomachs. Then we decided to steal an evening nap, fingers interlaced. When we opened our eyes the sky had turned a darker shade and Jason left for his Man Friends.

Page 61, The Button Factory. I am overwhelmed already!

Early night, tommorow is my dear friend's birthday lunch.

Get pretty worked up when Jason reads out my blog animatedly... completely strange to hear your thoughts through another person's voice.

By the way, it is an instruction.

Watched District 9 with the family and The Informant. Both are rather different offerings, I wouldn't really think of them as mainstream... Racism applied to aliens, Bipolar disordered informant?? Enjoyable but I doubt i will commit much to memory.

blah.

Blogging at an alarming rate! My compulsive behavior is really frightening. I'm just wondering if any of my friends catch X factor too, I think Stacey Solomon is such a darling and Olly is too adorable! Plus, my favourite panel of judges ever.

On a different note, I cannot even begin to imagine how Rob Houben must have felt in the 23 years.. He was diagnosed as vegetative, but was in fact aware of his surroundings; yet unable to move or respond.

"Powerlessness. Utter powerlessness. At first I was angry, then I learned to live with it."

He is now writing a book.

I really hate it when I come across things that terrorize my mind for a good period of time...

I return to the story
of the woman caught in the war
& in labour, her thighs tied
together by the enemy
so she could not give birth.

Please don't let that be true.

Drugged by medicine, I discovered a little personal project to work on... Only 10 p.m. Grapefruit morning, chocolate walnut scones, busy commuters, cold office, hot tea, LunchBreak? Secret vice: 2 dimensional shopping on a square lighted screen.

I want a handwritten letter! Christmas might give me one. =)

Lunched Ashlyn over 'Hotbean' and Green curry, chased time, took a yellow Christmas Tangs picture where a frightening man wanted to help us, then shouted dark secrets in the middle of Orchard.

The other day, a lady stormed into the train and headed directly for the priority seat, shouted at the guy "Can you please let an old lady seat? I am an old lady you know?". He scramped off,she sat next to me, with her bare foot propped on the seat, knee to her chest. The next 20 minutes she picked dead skin off her foot. I am uncertain what to make out of it... is this how age and a label empowers a Singaporean?


Jason is moving house soon...running out of ideas of what to get for his room as time ticks off more choices fromthe list. Nothing seems sufficiently relevant. Once I wanted to get him Wall Art, got lost over what painting it should feature, then I wanted to get a functional payphone fixed to his wall, but thought it too cute. Wall mount brackets. Venetian hooks. Lamp shades. Duvet covers. Shag rug. Block cushions. Tripod side table.

.
.
.

Usually when I brew too many colliding ideas... I end up with nothing. =)

21st november, sleeping hours extended, 2 sets of lunch, great teabreak over Pork Chop Bun and a Dracula drink.. pity it ends this way. Nevermind.

Daul Kim's death makes me wonder... if suicide is more infectious than I would like to imagine?

"The writers take too much self importance...
I kind of hate art, because its always so something in the air
too much importance
too much pride?
but sometimes something catches your eye and thats nice.
but its very rare"
- Daul Kim.

Most striking.... possibly exceedingly quoted, the following:

staying relative is hard
staying honest is hard

i know i'm like a ghost
i have nothing but myself



Thought of her when I listened to Fragile:


Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

In six thousand years what will this mean
Words from the heart or a melody
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile
A little fragile

If people can see right through my eyes
Like an open door that I can't disguise
I won't be afraid from the tears I cry
I'll not run I'll not hide this is how I feel inside
A little fragile

Sometimes I feel like I'm alone
Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Sometimes I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel a little fragile

Suffering from an intensely uncomfortable headache... hits just the left temple... is that called a migraine? And my body is threatening to throw up every moment. I feel geuninely awful... If anyone likes gratitude I have plenty to offer... if you can rescue me from this shit. TIA.

It is 9 and bedtime for the past week. Obliged on a weekend to stay up, but with no pressing errand to attend to, it gets somewhat challenging. Sleep is a habit.

Nothing spectacular to write of. I started the Saturday premature; woke up at 5 am and felt the chilly sunless morning wind hit my face, whispering December. Vegetarian breakfast with the parents, family lunch at Imperial Treasures. It is fast becoming a no brainer to head there for weekend meals, the food is pretty authentic with a reasonable price to match. We spent a great deal of time shopping at Wismawisma as my mother calls it, I got a pretty dress and jumpsuit (finally!) from Bebe... I've been looking for one for agesss, loved this piece but there was a nasty little tear so, genuinely hoping their tailor can fix it. The dress had pockets.. I am unabashedly biased towards soft fabrics and anything that features pockets. We loitered through Orchard Road's Christmas lights, something that never fascinated me. Nauseous taxi ride home. Panadol saved my life.

Friday the 13th occured as an exceptionally lucky day. I left work as punctually as I could. Jason and I had a heavy pasta dinner with warm apple crumble and soda, browsed German Movies over HK YuenYang, and went home early because we got too lethargic for the streets.

Are there seedless watermelons? I believe there are. It frustrates me ceaselessly everytime my mom makes me eat slices of watermelons and I continually have to spit the devils out, the plate an awful mess of pale pink juice and hideous black seeds. Gross.

No single monumental moment this month, but a highlight would be the Ion event, observing merrymaking celebrities and socialites, capturing pictures of evasive Wonbin and pleasant LiBingbing. And... c'est tout actually. Haha.

The year will end before its time is due... as it does year after year. Transitional, friends blossoming into adults, I hope I can stare at faces and observe changes, but know that between us everything remains. Already friends are turning more beautiful and wise, let us all mirror that with each other.

9 months. Barely a milestone by any standards, but I am thankful. Excuse my incessant rumbling today, am truely giddy for all sorts of unjustified reasons. Anticipating a phonecall, failure to comply wholly unforgivable punishment duly meted.

BEWARE.