So I get tricked into thinking the pain has subsided but no, it comes back with a vengeance, the intensity increased manifold! The ferocity of these attacks frightens me. Such feelings cannot easily take the form of words. I don't want to bother you with any of this, because you are remarkably strong and firm, and the last thing I want is to put our consequent friendship at stake; I cannot afford to lose it. When we are to meet again, I hope we may still maintain an amiable deposition and slip into silly, mindless banter, minus the awkwardness. The most consoling thought, though I would barely consider it effective, is that time is promised to heal. I have never wished so badly, that time could fly by. Although I distinctly remember telling Dahniela the other day that I like time to pass by slowly just so I could feel younger for a longer period.

I am most certainly sorry that things turned out this way. It still disturbs me, how it is the best, for now. Why am i not convinced? How can something be the only solution when I am suspicious? I would say that sincerity exists between us. I am always careful of making such statements, because afterall, I don't crawl in your head, but I definitely feel it strongly enough. At the end of the day, there is nothing I value more than sincerity, which explains why I would have liked to disregard or overcome our differences. I din't want to give up. I am not saying it is easy to make it work, but it is not impossible. I have always wanted to tell you a little story, to justify why I am so pertinacious and particular of being happily in love, but perhaps it is no longer apt or adequate.

Honestly I see alot of goodness in you, heart and mind, that is what sets you apart. I daresay I am weird but you understand me. There is immense comfort in such a discovery of a soulmate. I want to keep you with me, friend or lover! I have said more than my piece. This is how I stay true to my promise. I shall love you as much as a friend could.